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Preface, David R. Mace - Dr. William Carrington has thrice put me in his debt. Within minutes of my first meeting him in England in 1952, he lent me some money! (I had just arrived from the U.S.A., and had no sterling.) In 1956, on a lecture tour in Australia, I was taken ill, and he took me into his home and restored me to health. In 1958, while I was away on an extended project in Asia, he came to the United States and took over my teaching assignments at Drew University in New Jersey.

Introduction - Marriages, like people, can sicken and die. The sickness of marriage may be acute or chronic, mild or severe, general or limited to one aspect of the relationship, one part of the "body." It may be progressive or recurrent, obvious or hidden, com­parable in all these respects with the sickness of persons.

01. Marriage Counseling? - The word "counseling" is defined in many dictionaries as "giving advice" or "warning." People in trouble in their marital relationships have always been the recipients of all kinds of well-meant advice, and in that "educational" sense marriage counseling is probably as old and as universal as marriage itself. It has been carried on through the centuries and in many parts of the world by interested relatives and friends, and by min­isters, doctors, teachers, lawyers and others with varying de­grees of professional formality

02. Marital Disorder - Marriage has been described as the most intimate, delicate and far-reaching relationship between people; and the family as a living, growing, and self-reproducing organism in a two-way relationship with the total environment: physical, cultural, social and spiritual. Human nature and human feelings being what they are there will inevitably be tensions and conflicts in marriage and family life. Successful marriage is not measured by the absence of conflict but by the ability of the partners to find constructive and rational ways of dealing with their conflicts, and growing to greater maturity and harmony to­gether through these experiences

03. Marriage Counselor - As marriage is a universal institution, and marital disorders of a severity requiring help are almost as widespread, it is inevitable that almost anybody might become involved in some kind of attempt to assist in the reconciliation of marital con­flicts. Many people will be emotionally involved as in-laws and other relatives; others may be less involved, such as good friends and neighbors, but still prone to take sides, to criticize or condemn, to advise, and in many cases to interfere on their own initiative.

04. General Setting - It seems inevitable—when marriage counseling may be per­formed by such a variety of people, informally as well as formally—that it will be carried on in various kinds of locations, but some principles that seem worthy of emphasis bear on the "geographical" aspect of the work.

It seems inevitable—when marriage counseling may be per­formed by such a variety of people, informally as well as formally—that it will be carried on in various kinds of locations, but some principles that seem worthy of emphasis bear on the "geographical" aspect of the work.

05. Initial Interviews - The initial interview with each partner is of vital importance for the success or failure of the whole process of counseling, because it has a large part in creating the "rapport" between each partner and the counselor so essential for effective coun­seling. Each client, as we have seen, comes with very mixed, and often intense feelings, not only from the emotional strains of the marital situation, but also from the strains of seeking help from a third party.

06. Subsequent Interviews - In subsequent interviews with either client some deeper prob­lems may be expressed, which for various reasons were not brought up earlier. The counselor needs always to have this possibility in mind and to keep an open mind for them. He may also help if he is sensitive to any rather cautious tenta­tive approaches to such deeper matters, and able to respond in such a way as to encourage their full unburdening.

07. Joint Interviews - The whole question of joint interviews needs to be con­sidered in relationship with two important facts—first, that nearly all marital disorders have very strong emotional com­ponents which by their very nature tend to take control of any discussions and to divert them from any "reasonable" path; and second, that the counselor will be carrying out with the partners something that they may have already tried many times without him, and generally failed to solve their conflicts in doing so.

08. Extended Counseling - This is a better word than "diagnosis," because it suggests the consideration of the many and varied complex factors in the disorder, and also the assets and liabilities of the partners regarding possible solutions of the conflicts.

As the interviews with each partner and any joint interviews proceed the counselor will be almost automatically arranging the facts and feelings presented to him in some kind of evolving pattern.

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